An ode to the old nine-to-five

Shedding the Millenial Work Ethos

I grew up as part of the core Millennial cohort. That means, being born in the early 90s and coming of age in the early aughts (I had to look this up to make sure I’m using it correctly — ‘aught’ means the digit 0, so ‘the aughts’ refer to the years 2000, 2001, and so on until 2010). I’m not an elder-Millennial, or a younger Zillennial; I’m a capital M Millennial. I turned 10 at the turn of the millennium and while I would have been too young to detect a shift in society, but upon reflection: it must have been a big one. Because the ideas about work, career, and ambition that took hold in my teenage years became so defining for my generation (re: #millenialmanager on tiktok). My aspiration for a big career adorned in a power suit became deeply ingrained in my identity in a way that I don’t think my parents could relate.

To me, the “old” nine to five is the one where you reliably and without complaint show up every day to put in your time, earn your rungs on the ladder, and retire after 30 years with a fat company pension as a reward for your loyalty. This version of work is the one our parents tried to prepare us for. I was engrained with the idea that work is supposed to feel hard, that you almost certainly will not want to go, but that you will show up and try hard anyway.

This is the first expectations trap: Work must be painfully hard.

We saw our parents stay in jobs with toxic bosses, inflexible schedules, and very little recognition. We also heard the message through explicit mantras emphasizing the pain-reward cycle:

“

Keep your nose to the grindstone.
Work hard, play hard.
The early bird gets the worm.

And then, of course, the 2010s era rang in a new flavour of work-hard slogans, and we were soon awash with a fresh set of pink propaganda.

Introducing the second expectations trap: Work must be painfully hard, and you should look good while doing it.

She’s not just a pretty face
Chase your dreams in high heels
Hustle like a girlboss

We were bamboozled by SHE-E-Os with high heels, hot pink storefronts, and glamorous photo spreads; #GIRLBOSS icons who gave us businesses like Nasty Gal and Spanx and [Insert Hyper-Feminized Name Here] Lash Lift Studio Empire. These women, while pioneers in their own right, were telling us to be empowered while they sold us products that exploited our insecurities. You can be successful like me, as long as you work hard and suck in your tummy. But still, I framed their success as a North Star, the siren call that would lead me to a fulfilling future. All I had to do was work. Harder.

Aside: Spanx are a marvel of engineering, and I would never seek to disparage icon Sara Blakely (Sara — If you ever read this, I idolize you) but I think it’s ok to wonder “why is this necessary?” as you wiggle your way into what can best be described as a 3-sizes too small nude scuba suit, just to feel — what was it again? — oh yeah: Confident.

And it wasn’t just me. In 2012, I overheard my undergrad classmate saying “I just wanna be in New York, running around in my high heels between meetings, that’s my dream.” And we laughed, and agreed. But when I think about it now, I cringe at the naivety and wonder: was that ever anyone’s dream? High heels hurt. Running around a busy city makes you sweaty. Being in meetings usually means holding. We wanted the power, the admiration, and we were ready for the hard work. We had been sold a fantasy. But no one taught us to ask “at what cost?”

Side hustle culture came for us next. For a period of time you couldn’t go a day on social media without seeing a friend or colleague or connection launching a new enterprise; Youtube channels, realtor’s licenses, home nail salons, or even the infamous MLM schemes. And I’m not knocking the hustle. I love the hustle. I believe a little too hard in the hustle; I’m literally hustling right now. I spent a lot of years envying the people brave enough to put something out there, and while I did quietly, slowly started putting my ideas on paper, I wasted more time berating myself for how little I was doing. As if getting a degree, working a corporate job, going back to school for an MBA, learning to code, managing a chronic illness, and maintaining a connection with friends and family isn’t “doing enough”. For the last 10 years, when someone has asked me what I want for my career, my answer would be something like:

“Well I’m in my corporate 9-5 right now, and that’s not necessarily where I want to be, but I’m using it as a stable place to learn and grow and save money while I figure out how to do the next thing. Like launch my own thing or join an early-stage start up.”

I had to separate where I am now from where I’m going. To make sure everyone knew that I knew I was not satisfied yet. Because I needed them to know that I was capable of The Hustle. The Hustle would set me apart, anything else would leave me ordinary. Maintaining The Hustle means you are empowered, anything less makes you stuck, failing to achieve your potential, or even worse: unfulfilled

The third expectations trap: Work must be painfully hard, you should look good doing it, and this will make you happy

Well I am standing up for myself now. I’m proud to announce that I am stuck in my nine-to-five. Maybe not thriving, but definitely alive and that ain’t bad.

A Gen-Z Reality Check

[Skips over recap of 2020-2023 — we all know what happened here]

Some time in the midst of WFH during a global pandemic, and dealing with my own set of chronic-and-serious health issues, I had to admit to myself that while I did work hard, I was killing myself trying to live up to the expectations I had set for myself dating back to high school. And I got my first inkling that perhaps my ambition to hustle-hard was not fully my own, but maybe something I had been socialized to believe. And what helped me see this? Gen-Z. While scrolling through videos that were either making fun of me (re: Skinny jeans, side parts, ankle booties, Lululemon, and oh — caring what other people think), or going way over my head (re: Cheugy, Sea Shanties, Dalgona Coffee). But let me tell you that I became liberated. Here I was being made fun of for trying too hard. And while I don’t want to take it to an extreme — we should in fact try hard for the things that matter in this life — I saw a new way to exist. I saw people taking jobs that paid less but expected less. That did not come with intense mental stimulation, but instead were free of mental anguish. It sparked this idea that I could show up at my nine-to-five and just focus on doing okay at that; I did not need to push harder every day of every month of every year until I either retired or burned out. And so I started saying a new set of phrases to myself:

It’s only a job.
Showing up is good enough.
You can’t always operate at 100%.

And so I embrace the (new) nine-to-five. Not the nine-to-five my grandfather knew and loved; you know the one — where you get trained, clock in, work hard, clock out, 5 days a week without fail for 30 years of your life while collecting a defined benefit* pension. Even today, when I complain to my parents about mundane problems I’ve had at work and think about what else is out there my mom will comment “Oh my, are you sure it’s wise to take that kind of risk? It’s not that bad there is it?” I don’t blame her, but this is not the world we live in today. The once fair trade-off of loyalty to the company in exchange for financial stability does not have the same variables now as it did for prior generations. We have crossed over into a dynamic where the trade-offs include our physical health, mental health, free time, and family care, a better salary somewhere else, and little opportunity to achieve meaningful growth. And then the other side of the equation: a lifetime of financial stability?! We can only dream. No. The old nine-to-five had a good, long run. But now it’s time to relegate it to the history books and focus on the New Nine-to-Five.

*Aside: For any folks who might be younger or not familiar with various pension types in Canada, the defined benefit pension plan is slowly going extinct, and outside of a few very specific sectors, it is not a realistic expectation for folks entering the work force. While it had some draw backs, it essentially guaranteed a retirement payment, in perpetuity, until you die. At least they actually got something in return for their loyalty.

Picture the Future: You are Adept and Unbothered

I work for a bank as a middle manager in the digital design department. I start work between 9 or 9:30 (leisurely, I know), I clock off at 5 pm, I don’t take on more work than I can reasonably accomplish, and some days I even head to a doctor’s appointment without marking the time off. I have a healthy number of vacation and wellness days. I am saving for retirement at a satisfying rate, and I have enough disposable income to be very comfortable as long as I keep my emergency fund topped up. It took me too long to admit it, but I get a lot out of being here.

And as far as what I give to the job? I give it a good effort, but I have learned the hard lesson of not always giving them my best. For the last 2 years of so, my goal has been to work smarter and learn from my mistakes so that the work can feel easier over time. And I’ve partially succeeded. I’m probably still a little bothered OK? I’m human. But I am definitely more adept now at navigating the intricacies of a corporate workplace that used to trip me up. For me there seems to be an inverse correlation; the more proficient I am at the soft skills required of my job, the more I find it easier to shut off at night.

But it occurred to me that for lots of people, their nine-to-five is not the moderately paced walk-in-the-park that I am lucky enough to have. We are overloaded by posts on LinkedIn lamenting the high-stress, high-toxicity environments of offices all over North America (probably other places too but I’m Canadian and acknowledge that I cannot speak on behalf of communities I have not participated in). Meetings that drag on with no purpose, passive-aggressive managers who make you walk on eggshells, misaligned goals that make it impossible to accomplish your tasks, and feeling like you have no influence to make things better.

You want to coast in your nine-to-five! You want to be like our younger Gen-Z colleagues! But you are so used to being bothered that you can’t imagine being… well… unbothered. But I think we can all try to turn it around. There are a lot of ways to do this, and my hope is to dig deep into this topic here on the Nine to Five Guide.

But just to get started, I want to focus on one key theme: deepening your relationships. So try these relationship-building tactics; I’ve got 3 things you can use this week. Even if it’s a baby step, doing just one of these is making progress towards an easier time at your nine-to-five.

1. Reconnect with a colleague you haven’t spoken to in a while; have a meaningful conversation
   Underlying Tactic: Solidify the connections you already have

2. Introduce yourself to someone at your job who you have not worked with before
   Underlying Tactic: Grow your internal network to build community, learn, and feel more at ease

3. Try a new approach to communicate with your manager; ask a new question or try a different style
   Underlying Tactic: Managing up by experimenting to find out what resonates with different people

I may be an #millennialmanager with a lot still to learn about life (like how to rid myself of those intrusive hustle culture thoughts) but I also have a lot to teach, and a lot of optimism to share. Your job might not be your passion, but it doesn’t have to be your enemy either. Come! Follow me. We’ll figure it out how to be unbothered together.

That’s all for now,

Marie