An ode to the old nine-to-five

Goodbye Millennial Shame

I grew up as part of the core Millennial cohort. That means, being born in the early 90s and coming of age in the early aughts (I had to look this up to make sure I’m using it correctly — ‘aught’ means the digit 0, so ‘the aughts’ refer to the years 2000, 2001, and so on until 2010). I’m not an elder-Millennial, or a younger Zillennial; I’m a capital M Millennial. I turned 10 at the turn of the millennium and while I would have been too young to clock any substantial shift in society, but upon reflection and in simple terms, it must have been a big one. Because the ideas that took hold in my teenage years, especially about work, career, or ambition, became so deeply ingrained in not just my world view, but my sense of self. We heard it subliminally, in the way our parents just got on with the things they had to do, however unpleasant, to make a living. But we also heard it explicitly:

Work hard, play hard.
The early bird gets the worm.
If you work hard, you can be anything you want.

Anything I want?! As if the “what do you want to do with your life?” question wasn’t hard enough, I left grade 6 with that new brain-teaser. As if the introduction of acne, menstrual cramps, and (*gasp) body odour weren’t enough, now I had to grapple with the infinite possibilities of being an anything-I-want. Whatever that is.

And then, of course, the 2010s era rang in a new flavour of the work-hard mantras. We were soon overloaded and overburdened with a fresh set of pink expectations. #GIRLBOSS icons who gave us businesses like Nasty Gal and Spanx and [Insert Hyper-Feminized Name] Lash Lift Studio, that told us we were empowered while they sold us either junk products or junk ideas that left us feeling unsure about ourselves but still, as we were taught, grateful for the opportunity. The opportunity to frame their success as a North Star, calling us toward overwhelming success and fulfillment. All we had to do was work. Harder.

Aside: Spanx are a marvel of engineering, and I would never seek to disparage icon Sara Blakely (Sara — If you ever read this, I idolize you) but I think it’s ok to wonder “why is this necessary?” as you wiggle your way into what can best be described as a 3-sizes too small nude scuba suit, just to feel — what was it again? — oh yeah: Confident.

Before we were free express our rage post-#METOO, we were bamboozled by these SHE-E-Os with high heels, pink storefronts, and glamorous photo spreads. In 2012, I overheard my ungrad classmate saying “Ugh. I dunno. I just wanna be in New York, running around in my high heels between meetings, that’s the dream.” I was one of the most ambitious in my class, and yet when I heard that I had an immediate reaction. Of disgust. Not with her personally, but with the idea that it was so clearly not her dream. And when I think about it now, I have to wonder: was that anyone’s dream? High heels hurt. Running around a busy city makes you sweaty. Being in meetings usually means holding back an eye roll. We wanted the power, the admiration, and we were willing to work. But no one taught us to ask “at what cost?”

Side hustle culture came for us next. You couldn’t go a day on social media without seeing a friend or colleague or connection launching a new enterprise (Granted, some of those were caught up in MLMs and for them I was genuinely concerned, but that could be it’s own topic so I’ll save it for another day). Everything from crafts like hand-drawn cards or Cricut decals to personality plays like youtube channels and blogging, to getting officially licensed in real estate or insurance brokerage. And I’m not knocking the hustle. I love the hustle. I believe a little too hard in the hustle. This platform is the product of my hustle, and while I spent a lot of years envying the people brave enough to put something out there, I quietly, slowly, and very unsurely started putting my ideas on paper. But mostly I spent the time feeling badly that I wasn’t moving faster on it. For the last 10 years, when someone has asked me what I want for my career, my answer would be something like:

“Well I’m in my corporate 9-5 right now, and that’s not necessarily where I want to be, but I’m using it as a stable place to learn and grow and save money while I figure out how to do the next thing. Like launch my own thing or join an early-stage start up.”

I had to separate where I am now from where I’m going. To make sure everyone knew that I knew I was not impressive yet. Because I needed them to know that I was capable of The Hustle. I, like many in my cohort, buckled under the judgement; the fear of being ordinary. Being in a 9-to-5 job could look like standing still. And standing still was not an empowered choice. It could only mean that you are “Stuck.”

Well I am standing up for myself now. I’m proud to announce that I am stuck in my nine-to-five. Maybe not thriving, but definitely alive and that ain’t bad.

A Gen-Z Reality Check

[Skips over recap of 2020-2023 — we all know what happened here]

Some time in the midst of WFH during a global pandemic, and dealing with my own set of chronic-and-serious health issues, I had to admit to myself that while I did work hard, I was killing myself trying to live up to the expectations I had set for myself dating back to high school. And I got my first inkling that perhaps my ambition to hustle-hard was not fully my own, but maybe something I had been socialized to believe. And what helped me see this? Gen-Z. While scrolling through videos that were either making fun of me (re: Skinny jeans, side parts, ankle booties, Lululemon, and oh — caring what other people think), or going way over my head (re: Cheugy, Sea Shanties, Dalgona Coffee). But let me tell you that I became liberated. Here I was being made fun of for trying too hard. And while I don’t want to take it to an extreme — we should in fact try hard for the things that matter in this life — I saw a new way to exist. I saw people taking jobs that paid less but expected less. That did not come with intense mental stimulation, but instead were free of mental anguish. It sparked this idea that I could show up at my nine-to-five and just focus on doing okay at that; I did not need to push harder every day of every month of every year until I either retired or burned out. And so I started saying a new set of phrases to myself:

It’s only a job.
Showing up is good enough.
You can’t always operate at 100%.

And so I embrace the (new) nine-to-five. Not the nine-to-five my grandfather knew and loved; you know the one — where you get trained, clock in, work hard, clock out, 5 days a week without fail for 30 years of your life while collecting a defined benefit* pension. Even today, when I complain to my parents about mundane problems I’ve had at work and think about what else is out there my mom will comment “Oh my, are you sure it’s wise to take that kind of risk? It’s not that bad there is it?” I don’t blame her, but this is not the world we live in today. The once fair trade-off of loyalty to the company in exchange for financial stability does not have the same variables now as it did for prior generations. We have crossed over into a dynamic where the trade-offs include our physical health, mental health, free time, and family care, a better salary somewhere else, and little opportunity to achieve meaningful growth. And then the other side of the equation: a lifetime of financial stability?! We can only dream. No. The old nine-to-five had a good, long run. But now it’s time to relegate it to the history books and focus on the New Nine-to-Five.

*Aside: For any folks who might be younger or not familiar with various pension types in Canada, the defined benefit pension plan is slowly going extinct, and outside of a few very specific sectors, it is not a realistic expectation for folks entering the work force. While it had some draw backs, it essentially guaranteed a retirement payment, in perpetuity, until you die. At least they actually got something in return for their loyalty.

Picture the Future: You are Adept and Unbothered

I work for a bank as a middle manager in the digital design department. I start work between 9 or 9:30 (leisurely, I know), I clock off at 5 pm, I don’t take on more work than I can reasonably accomplish, and some days I even head to a doctor’s appointment without marking the time off. I have a healthy number of vacation and wellness days. I am saving for retirement at a satisfying rate, and I have enough disposable income to be very comfortable as long as I keep my emergency fund topped up. It took me too long to admit it, but I get a lot out of being here.

And as far as what I give to the job? I give it a good effort, but I have learned the hard lesson of not always giving them my best. For the last 2 years of so, my goal has been to work smarter and learn from my mistakes so that the work can feel easier over time. And I’ve partially succeeded. I’m probably still a little bothered OK? I’m human. But I am definitely more adept now at navigating the intricacies of a corporate workplace that used to trip me up. For me there seems to be an inverse correlation; the more proficient I am at the soft skills required of my job, the more I find it easier to shut off at night.

But it occurred to me that for lots of people, their nine-to-five is not the moderately paced walk-in-the-park that I am lucky enough to have. We are overloaded by posts on LinkedIn lamenting the high-stress, high-toxicity environments of offices all over North America (probably other places too but I’m Canadian and acknowledge that I cannot speak on behalf of communities I have not participated in). Meetings that drag on with no purpose, passive-aggressive managers who make you walk on eggshells, misaligned goals that make it impossible to accomplish your tasks, and feeling like you have no influence to make things better.

You want to coast in your nine-to-five! You want to be like our younger Gen-Z colleagues! But you are so used to being bothered that you can’t imagine being… well… unbothered. But I think we can all try to turn it around. There are a lot of ways to do this, and my hope is to dig deep into this topic here on the Nine to Five Guide.

But just to get started, I want to focus on one key theme: deepening your relationships. So try these relationship-building tactics; I’ve got 3 things you can use this week. Even if it’s a baby step, doing just one of these is making progress towards an easier time at your nine-to-five.

1. Reconnect with a colleague you haven’t spoken to in a while; have a meaningful conversation
   Underlying Tactic: Solidify the connections you already have

2. Introduce yourself to someone at your job who you have not worked with before
   Underlying Tactic: Grow your internal network to build community, learn, and feel more at ease

3. Try a new approach to communicate with your manager; ask a new question or try a different style
   Underlying Tactic: Managing up by experimenting to find out what resonates with different people

I may be an #millennialmanager with a lot still to learn about life (like how to rid myself of those intrusive hustle culture thoughts) but I also have a lot to teach, and a lot of optimism to share. Your job might not be your passion, but it doesn’t have to be your enemy either. Come! Follow me. We’ll figure it out how to be unbothered together.

That’s all for now,

Marie